The hot topic at Gosnell household

To further drive the point home, since some people missed it:


Apparently, the hot topic at girls night out this past Wednesday was about my family. Okay, maybe not just this past Wednesday, but certainly there have been discussions going on behind Noelle’s and my back for a little while; but, yet, never brought to our attention.

Let me preface what I am going to say (which I will reiterate at the end of this post) that Noelle and I are VERY, VERY grateful for the service which has been rendered to us in the past couple of months and which will be rendered to us in the next couple of months. The Church is true and the people in our little part of Zion are absolutely wonderful.

It seems that Rachel has not been doing fine at the different places she has stayed, despite me being told that she was. All I’ve heard was that she played nicely and got along well. This must not be the case. The Bishop came and visited us today and let us know that he was approached separately by several of the sisters in the ward about their genuine concern for Rachel’s welfare and development, and how she may not be getting the care she needs by house hopping during the week.

This was very frustrating to hear, not about the concern, but that the concern was not brought to our attention earlier and we were told all was well. This after a little fiasco last night at 10:00 PM with one party berating me stating, “How could I let Rachel go over to so-and-so’s when she is sick.” Then me calling so-and-so and verifying that they really couldn’t watch Rachel with their current situation. The thing is, we thought the situation was taken care of since we had called earlier in the day and told it was fine.

Let me be absolutely clear: We are not mad at either party. The situation was poor communication. I do wish we would have been told no the first time. We were ready to make other arrangements.

Let me also make something else clear that I learned over this experience: Service is not mandatory, please say No if you can’t. If there is a problem, speak up… especially to us.

Noelle and I really are humble people and do not hold grudges, do not get involved in pettiness, etc. Case-in-point, I don’t care who was talking to the Bishop, they did the right thing. We know that we aren’t perfect. We know that if there is a problem, and a friend approaches us, we are not going to hold that against them. We are not going to be petty and think a person is rotten or rude because they tell us “No, I can’t help you.” We understand it is a service and no one is obligated.

Reiteration time: We are very, very appreciative for all the help we have received and will receive. We are not mad at anyone… in fact, we are glad the topic has been brought to our attention now (and not after we lost all of our friends).

Please discuss with us if you have any issues with us. We can try and work it out. I love you all and hope to be able to return the service we have received to those in need in the future.

7 Replies to “The hot topic at Gosnell household”

  1. First, I have to say, that I’m sorry that things had to happen the way that they did. Second, I’m not surprised. We as LDS women feel a tremendous responsibility to serve (say yes), if we have no real major reason not too. Wether or not it’s “right” or “wrong”. Very few sisters have mastered the ability to say no when they don’t want to. Third, I have been very surprised that your ward has been able to carry the burden of Rachels care for this long. I have never heard of a ward providing this much care for this long. Your ward is burned out and needs a break. Rachel’s emotional and physical health is better served in a stable environment. Although what is done is done, nothing can change the past. Mistakes have been made on both sides. All you can do is look to the future and try to do what is best for Rachel and your family. I wish I could help out more, and I know others feel that way too, but we can only do so much, and I know my limits. Lastly, (to those who are reading this) my broher and sister are not easily offended. They may get sad about something someone says, but they do not hold grudges, nor do they take personl offense. Nor are they going to intuitively know that they are asking too much, …you have to tell them. I am glad that someone had the courage to come forth to the Bishop and let him be a mediator. Jeff, Noelle, and Rachel, we pray for you guys every day! I love you guys!

  2. Oh, I so wish I could jump on a plane and stay out there until the baby is born. It is tough to be in your situation. I’ll keep praying for you. I love you!

  3. Wow I can’t believe you have nothing better to do than write about girls night out. How sad…

  4. Wow, I ca’t believe some of you have nothing better to do than write a lame comment on my brothers blog. Some people can be so immature and so insensitive.

  5. I agree. My sister and brother-in-law are going through a very stressful time right now and they are handling it with aplomb, but that is no excuse for ANYONE to be rude just because they are not the kind of people to be rude back. If you can’t be nice, keep it to your self, Anonymous.

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